Relationships and art

[Gus]

Hi,
I hope this ok to post in this forum but I really wanted to make sure I got responses from the practising artists on here and this forum is by far the most active.
We all know how much time, work, concentration, dedication and at times solitude it takes to create really good quality work, so my question is for those of you who are in or have been in successful relationships - how do you manage to develop and maintain a successful relationship and create art ?
I am particularly interested in responses from those who have partners who are not "creative types".

[jslattum]

I have dedicated time-slots and days where I am to work on my art without disturbance or nagging. I let her know it's my job/school/career development/DREAM, and the more I succeed the more we succeed. My wife is 100% behind me on this, she knows what's up and her role as my muse... and she loves it.

[Gus]

the thing is though - I cannot "allocate a time" to be creative. I just suddenly get an urge and have to follow it - its not like I can say "I will be creative on Thursday". Maybe I should try it.

[jslattum]

I was the same way, but once you set a schedule, your mind/body/soul will get used to it. I also leave sketch pads EVERYWHERE, each with a pencil in it, so when I get an idea I can quickly sketch out a thumbnail and take a quick note or two... that way I can return to the idea later when I have more time. I constantly work on my ideas in my head too. If you're with someone, and they know you're an artist and accept it, then there shouldn't be a problem. If they throw a fit, then they're depriving you of your passion and a succubus at that.

[findingflow]

I agree with both of the above posts in that 1. you cannot choose a time to be creative, the muse comes to you on her time, not yours and 2. if your significant other has a problem with those moments when creativity completely engulfs you and and you embrace it regardless of what else is currently going on they are a succubus. If you're with someone and creating art is your passion, they should be well aware of this before they get involved with you as it is a very huge part of who you are and not only be ok with it but encourage it. Currently, I'm in a relationship and the way we address this is that we both have our passions-for me art, for him science. We have an unspoken understanding that when one needs to do something relating to their field of interest, then we do it. We both know that spending time on a project doesn't mean we don't want to spend time with the other but that at that particular moment we need to work on our passion. Personally, I prefer it this way because one of the reasons that attracted me to my guy in the first place was that they have interests and not only have the drive to pursue their interests, but that their passions take precedent. Also, if this helps (it has for me) before getting involved, give the other person a disclaimer, let them know that your passion is first and foremost, lromance follows. I have. I always say that Art will be number one and they are second. If they're cool with that, then it's smooth sailing. If not, then you've let them know and it's good to know before anything got too involved that it wouldnt work out if they feel they are more important than your art. Call me selfish, but it's important to keep things in perspective, your passion first, relationship second because what is it that really drives you? your art (or music or science or cooking or whatever) or your boyfriend/girlfriend? why do you get up in the morning? Answer that and it helps put things in perspective. Find someone who is cool with you having to drop what you're doing to work on what you love. If it's a compatible relatiionship, they will encourage it. Also, it really helps if the other person has a passion of their own, it keeps things balanced because they see where you're coming from because they are the exact same way.

[aestheticcataclysm]

You know, I've dated a lot of girls who were not very supportive of my work or some of the very dark driving forces in my past that motivate me to create the imagery that I do. So I simply stopped dating girls and started dating women. It sounds deceptively simple, but I feel that anybody who is worth being with will support you entirely and will not be selfish with respect to your artistic endeavors. This however is a two-way street. You must cherish that they are your support, and let them know that you appreciate it in thought, word, and deed. Even if you are not in a committed or traditional or monogamous relationship, it's all about being a partner. I have found that dating other creatives helps, even though OP hinted that he might not be dating another creative. I am currently seeing a writer, and the cross-pollination of ideas and inspiration is truly amazing. That said, there is no limit to how damaging it can be to feel trapped in a relationship with somebody who is not supportive of the very thing that I feel defines me the most, and personally I would stay away from situations like that no matter how you may feel about the person. You, your work, and your partner will all eventually suffer from a relationship like that. As far as dedicated time, I'm a working fine artist and web designer, so painting and web are my day job and I have a studio that is my sanctuary. We live apart but were we ever to share space the studio would remain mine, along with my own bedroom/chill room to relax in. I wish you luck friend.

_AEC